Josh

"Whether it’s a friendship or an intimate relationship, when someone loves you, you know it.  When they look your way, the world looks better.  When they say your name, the world sounds better.  When they touch your skin, the world feels better.  You know your soul is safe in their care.

But even more so than any physical interaction, there’s a silent connection between you that you can feel in your veins.  You can sit in front of them for hours, without saying a word or moving a muscle, and yet still feel them with your heart.  It’s almost like they’ve always been a part of you – like a long lost fragment of your essence has found its way home.

It’s important to note though, that you learn about this kind of love slowly as a relationship grows.  It’s not something you realize all at once.  It’s about how two people treat each other, respect each other, and work together over a prolonged period, through good times and bad." ANGEL CHERNOFF

As I continue my journey inwards and release myself from burdens long gone I'm starting to really notice those around me. For example, Josh wakes up every morning at 530 without fail, sometimes he lays in bed reading news on his phone, other times he hits the snooze button for 15 more minutes of sleep, and then on those magical mornings he puts his arms around me. The other day I sat down and really thought hard about Josh and I started to wonder how he does it, how he keeps going, how he never complains, never yells, never says anything mean to me and is always there to offer support no matter how crazy I am being in the moment. 

I was on a walk yesterday with Hobson and Cyril in the glorious warm sunshine, and I mourned for Josh working hard at his desk indoors with so much on his plate that he doesn't even have time to take 5 minutes to eat his lunch. I asked him later how he does it day in and day out without so much as a complaint and he just said, "It has to be done so I get on with it." His response was so simple yet it's something I know I wouldn't have the strength to do. But it's more then that. He does it for us, for his family, so that Cyril and I can be together every day. He does it so we can go on vacations and make memories that will one day be all Cyril has left of his parents. He does it so I can go home every year to see my family that I miss everyday. He gave up his laid back job in California, where if he wanted to he could go surfing in the middle of the day as long as his work was finished at the end, so that we could have Cyril. He told me the other day that he would give up 100 surf sessions to just be with Cyril.

Cyril and I just want to say thank you for everything you do for the family. I know it is hard for you to keep going, to miss surfing week in and week out, to be without your best friends, particularly your hetero-life mate Al, to come home to chaos and a wife who bans electronics from the bedroom because of their negative energy, to work tirelessly every day all day without so much as a thank you or a good job to just do it day in and day out because it has to be done. Just remember that the universe isn't that cruel, one day you'll get back what you've put in and always remember that what we focus on grows.

And I realise it's not quite Father's Day yet but who needs a day to say I love you when you do amazing things every day.