I Took a Break This Weekend ...

I took a break this weekend, it was the first break I've had from my full-time job since December, and it was glorious. At my job there are no coffee, bathroom or lunch breaks without a permanent escort and on some nights the job continues into the wee hours despite having worked tirelessly all day.

This weekend was different because this weekend as Grammy pulled up to the train station, Josh and I stepped eagerly out into the fresh air that just smelled of freedom, it was so close I could taste it. Then I made the mistake of glancing into the back seat while pulling out my bag from the back of the SUV. Those big blue eyes had tears just waiting to pour out at any moment. He clutched Rabbie tightly in one hand and a half eaten cracker in the other while he repeated mamom? until the tears poured out. He was pleading with us not to go. However we had a train to catch so with tears spilling down my face I gave him one last kiss, another cracker and ran from the SUV before I could change my mind.

Thirty minutes into the journey I turned to Josh and asked if I should check in with my mom. He laughed, said they'd be fine, shoved an ice cold BBC into my hand and said, "Drink up, you're on holiday." I sunk lower into my seat, pulled out my book and drank until there were only drops left in the bottom of the can. Thirty minutes later I called my mom when he wasn't looking and was relieved to hear they'd settled into a routine nicely. I was finally able to relax.

The weekend in NYC with my brother and his wife was the best weekend we've had since Cyril was born. There was laughter in abundance, dinner eaten at a leisurely pace, and bathroom trips alone. We swam in the ocean, went for a run on the beach and took a nap, three things that are not possible to do together once you have a baby. When we couldn't find a taxi home there was no need to panic because we didn't need to rush home for a nap, meal or bath.

Despite all of this, Cyril was still at the forefront of our thoughts. He was there when we both found ourselves unable to sit still and I felt his absence when we hiked up Bear Mountain. While other people breathed heavy, struggling to summit, I felt lighter than ever without the additional 25 pounds on my back. It felt great to wake up, get a cup of coffee and take a leisurely stroll around the park but as I walked I kept seeing playgrounds that I knew Cyril would love to conquer and dogs he'd love to smother. At dinner the slow meals immersed in hilarious conversations were savored for their simplicity and rarity. An hour and a half wait didn't make us irritated or impatient it made us grateful for having 90 minutes to just sit and laugh with the ones we love. Joy was bubbling up inside of me the entire weekend and as we pulled into the farm last night the joy was still present because I knew in less than 14 hours I would wake up and see those big blue eyes ecstatic at our presence, and that made the weekend all the more sweeter.

We just want to say thank you to my mother who cancelled her music festival to spend 4 full days chasing an active toddler around the farm. When she picked us up she said she was exhausted and had forgotten how much energy was required when babysitting a toddler. We are beyond grateful for your generosity and the opportunity to have a break from our parental responsibilities. This weekend will never be forgotten and it's all thanks to you and pop for making it possible :)

xoxo Tati and Josh