The Pros and Cons of Living in England

Hobson in the gorgeous British countryside

Hobson again, he loves England and all the sheep.

I've been in America for a month now visiting family. On several occasions this week my mind has wandered down regret road and I've found myself wondering if we should have stayed in California. I've mentioned this to Josh before but he always shrugs it off and says there's no point in looking back, it'll only make you miserable, we made our choice and for now this is it. Thank goodness he has this outlook on life or we'd be a miserable pair, dwelling on the past. Usually this snaps me out of it but without my other half by my side, and the Massachusetts winter forcing me to stay indoors for 3 days with a bored toddler, I can't help travelling down memory lane so I've tried to come up with my list of the pros and cons for England.

PROS:

I can't believe I'm putting this top on the list as Josh loathes the NHS but there you have it, I list the NHS as a positive. After hearing that my brother and his wife have to pay $900/month for their health insurance I'm sold. If I'm sick, I go to the doctor and never get billed. The injections I need to take during pregnancy cost thousands of dollars in the USA, in the UK they cost me $0. Despite having to share a room with another person after giving birth I still find the care during maternity to be phenomenal. In the USA a midwife doesn't' come to your house everyday to check on you for 15 days after you gave birth, in the UK my midwife was there rain or shine, making me tea and providing a shoulder to cry on, they literally saved me from PPD.
Maternity leave, you get a year, paid, enough said.
The countryside is gorgeous. Whenever I'm in America and someone remarks on how beautiful the drive is I usually think, "eh, you clearly haven't been to England." Unless you're driving on the PCH to Big Sur, that's a pretty unbeatable drive, but I'm talking about England here. Even on the highway you pass rolling hills with sheep grazing, stone farms, thatched houses, and these amazing dry walls built out of the local landscape, where we live it's usually slate or stone and I'm left in awe by how long it must have taken to build them but then they're still standing after 600 years so it was clearly well worth the effort.
Everyone is friendly, I repeat everyone is friendly, even at the airport. When I arrived at passport control in America the police officer refused to smile at me and he was so curt as he rushed me along. When I arrive in England there will be a smile on the other side of the window and probably some joke about the weather that I won't fully comprehend but I'll nod my head and laugh like the good citizen that I am.
Pubs, pubs pubs! In the Winter they usually have a cozy fire going and dogs, wellies and farmers are plentiful. In the Summer they have beer gardens, often by a stream, with playgrounds to keep the little ones entertained while you enjoy your pint. No glaring onlookers in England for bringing a baby or toddler to the pub, here it's the norm!

CONS:

I don't think I'll ever "fit" in or feel like I belong. My accent stands out immediately, occasionally I'll get a person comment on what a beautiful accent I have but 9 times out of 10 someone repeats what I say in their best American accent and laughs. I wear unfashionable shoes (vans), yoga pants to Cyril's toddler classes, only wash my hair twice a week and it's a rare sight to see me with make up on or deodorant for that matter. I care far too much about the environment and you'll often see me grabbing a plastic bottle out of the rubbish to place it where it belongs, the recycling bin. Cyril's clothes are 90% organic and he always looks like a hippie, no skinny jeans or uncomfortable boots for this guy. I have to source his clothes because the clothing at all the local stores aren't made for babies in cloth nappies. It's obvious I'm American, perhaps even obvious that I once lived in California and it's a rare person that I feel I can talk to as if I've known them for years, usually I'm most comfortable around the elderly and people my parent's age, like my neighbour Dorothy, I love her to bits but then again she's a world traveler so we understand each other. And I'm always second guessing myself and wondering if I've said the right thing or somehow insulted someone by accident and in 5 minutes they'll be talking behind my back about the weird American that moved to town.
The coffee is pretty piss poor. OK the coffee at Foxes is some of the best I've ever had but most people in England drink instant coffee on a regular basis, yuck! We make ours at home in a french press and it's amazing but at most coffee shops it tastes burnt and automatic coffee makers don't exist.
Sometimes I think the food is good, but then I go to America and realise it's not quite there yet. The British are trying really hard, we have a plethora of new restaurants in Carlisle now and they do serve some pretty decent cuisine but there is only one place to get decent Mexican and that's 4 hours away in London. The city is probably half Polish yet I've never seen a pierogi or golumpki in a shop. If you don't feel like cooking one night you will not have an amazing selection of take-away options. They also don't have an organic superstore or any co-op's as we know in America which makes it challenging. I have to get a CSA delivery every week and then try to find organic food at the better grocery stores but I seriously miss River Valley Market, a co-op in Northampton, and their tasty smoothies.
A hot summer isn't a guarantee. I don't think I'd necessarily list the weather as a con because overall England is pretty temperate and if you get a hot summer there is no place as beautiful as here but last year we had a cooler summer with a lot of rain and that doesn't fill you up with enough sunshine to make it through another cold and damp winter.
I don't have my family here or my best friends and that is perhaps the saddest thing of all. I miss them all day everyday, especially when things aren't going well. I miss happy hour in California with Laura, Lisa, Kellie and Kirstie, I miss beach walks with Laura and longboarding with Josh and Tam while Laura and Kirstie try to control Hobson on the beach. I miss having a beer with my brothers and their wives and watching Seinfeld with my dad every night from 7-8pm after Cyril is asleep and the house is finally quiet. I miss shopping trips with my mom and dinner parties at my sister's house. I miss talking to my friend Alex about everything baby and having her understand and getting my hair done by Courtney without a screaming toddler because my sister or mom or dad is at home watching him. I miss my little nephew Huckleberry and sometimes I cry because if we lived closer Cyril and Huck would be best friends and I'd fit in because no one wears deodorant in Olympia and everyone eats organic and recycles.

However, as I wrap up this post, my eyes full of tears I realise just how lucky I am to be right here in England surrounded by Josh's family who understands all of the above and allows me as much time as I need to visit friends and family, and allows me to stay home with Cyril until I'm ready to return to work, and when that day comes I know I'll be welcome with open arms. A family that invites us on holidays to Spain, and includes me in nights out with their friends even if I am 7 years younger and can't hold my alcohol, a family that embraces our hillbilly tendencies even though we stick out like a sore thumb and let's not forget Granny Bron, a woman that makes me laugh every day and will sit and talk with me for hours even if she's not getting a word of my thick American accent.