One Lucky Lady

It was my father in law's birthday on Sunday which started me down a path of thoughts about the 10 years I knew him. The last couple years of his life I saw him quite a bit since we moved to England and I decided to work for him at Stead McAlpin. One thing that always stood out in my mind was that he truly believed he was the luckiest man alive. There were moments when my self-centred, I want to be in California why did we move, mind couldn't comprehend what he meant but now I see it with great clarity. Perhaps it was his death, and all the moments leading up to it, that brought me to this peaceful place I now call my happy life.

I'm not here to say how perfect everyday of my life is, because we all have our less than magical moments, but through his illness I noticed myself changing a little bit everyday, I learned to slow down, embrace ordinary moments, put my phone away or even better leave it at home, and most importantly to let go.  To let go of rude remarks, people that gossip or don't show the right kind of love to our family, toxic relationships, unhappy thoughts about the past present or future and control. The last one I work on daily but the ability to let go of things outside of my control is very liberating. It's sad that Chris had to die to awaken me to all the beauty this world has to offer but I thank him everyday for doing so.


Ten Reasons I'm One Lucky Lady:

1. Josh. He came into my life after a really awful breakup and never left my side even though it took me years to let go of what happened in my previous relationship, and trust the amazing man that Josh was and always will be. He's an amazing father, an even better husband, is laid back, easy going, rarely raises his voice (unless his phone or TV decide to stop working then you better get the hell out of the house) and has provided me with years of laughter, love and friendship. I love you Josh!
2. My health. When I was growing up I always heard my nana and father respond to people asking how they were by saying "I have my health and that's the most important thing." I never quite understood it until recently. I am grateful for the ability to wake up every morning pain free, to rock climb, surf, go on family bike rides, take daily walks with Hobson, hike, swim and practice yoga. I'm grateful I've learned to cook healthy meals for my family and that they actually enjoy eating them. We might not all be at our ideal weight or look like those sexy models you see in the magazines but we're healthy and we have a lot to thank our bodies for!
3. My Children. Hobson continues to bring me joy and teaches me patience and how to CTFD when he's barking. I never thought I could love anyone more then that dog and then Cyril was born and my love grew tenfold. It totally rocked Hobson's world, and I apologise for that, but Hobson has accepted Cyril as one of his pups and the two of them together is just the cutest thing in the world. It's pretty obvious from my facebook photos that Cyril brings me countless hours of fun and joy and I realise how lucky I am to have such a healthy and adorable little boy. 
4. Baby Girl. When I was feeling sick and down in the first trimester I had to keep reminding myself that I was lucky to get pregnant not once but twice. I have many friends who have struggled and paid thousands of pounds for IVF treatment to get what Josh and I were able to have for free. There are many other women out there that may have been my friends but we'll most likely never meet because for one reason or another they can't have children. We are both giddy about having a little girl and she constantly reminds me of her presence between 2-5am when she's kicking and dancing in my belly. I am so happy this pregnancy and have felt amazing since week 10 which is a relief since I was nauseous with Cyril until week 25! 
5. Full-Time Mama. I never thought I wanted to be a stay at home mama until Cyril was born and then it became apparent that there was no other option in either of our minds. I filled out his nursery paperwork when he was 10 months old only to rip it up that same evening and take it out to the recycling first thing the following morning. I told Josh I wasn't ready to go back to work, that I wanted Cyril to stay at home with me until he was 3 and then we could send him to nursery. Josh, as usual, was in complete agreement and told his brother that I wasn't coming back yet. I know money would be less tight if I got back to work and I probably would enjoy the adult company but I love what I'm doing with Cyril and I think in 10 years when I look back there won't be any regrets. Some days are more challenging then others but then I have those days where I have to pinch myself because I can't believe this is my life.
6. Moorhouse Ruins. It's funny this made it on my lucky list but that house has taught me more about patience then maybe anything else in my life. It's still under construction and each day when we think we're getting somewhere we get a call from Andy to say they've uncovered another structural issue. We really did just buy the exterior walls and some lovely feature windows, pretty much everything else needs replacing. Despite all of this I love that house and we can't wait to make it a home when we finally have a move in date.
7. Location. There are many days when I miss California, usually when it's pissing it down with rain and blowing a gale. However, I can't complain about our location. Not only are the villages quaint, gorgeous, historical and full of flowers but I can let Cyril play outside without having to keep my eye on him every second. Everyone in our village knows us and as Cyril gets older I know I'll be able to send him off on a Summer day with the knowledge that he'll return safe and sound in the evening, no need to worry about gangs, kidknappers and guns where we live. Not to mention the Lake District is absolutely gorgeous and when the weather blesses us in Cumbria there is no place I'd rather be.
8. Friendships. I've made many new friendships in the two years since Cyril was born. So many in fact that I sometimes can't keep up with our social schedule. I used to think I didn't fit in but now I realise that my American quirkiness was just the missing piece of the pie. I've finally learned to embrace that I'm just a "God damn fucking American" at heart and you can either embrace my craziness or find another friend.
9. Family. I am so lucky to have two equally amazing families. I miss my family dreadfully but am very lucky I get to see them for such an extended period of time every year. In fact I probably see them more now then I did when we lived in California, with the exception of my brother Benny, we had a lot of fun adventures in Cali but now get to relive those in NYC with his awesome wife Lane so it's a win win really. I also used to be afraid of Josh's sister, maybe intimidated is a better word, but now we're great friends and she has introduced me to some of her friends and I feel like I've been a part of their gang since day 1. I'm really looking forward to my girly weekend in Tenerife with Jess and Ruth, bring on the mocktails! 
   
   
10. Travel. Our family spends the majority of our extra cash on travel and we're all happy with that. We might have to eat beans on toast for a week but god damn it we will surf in Portugal if there is surf to be had! Cyril might not get a lot of presents for his birthday and Christmas but I think when he gets older he'll be grateful that he was able to go on so many amazing vacations.