My Life is Crazy and I Love It

As I looked around the house yesterday, blocks strewn across the floor, Hobson pulling burs off his fur and placing them strategically around the freshly vacuumed floor, Sage vomiting milk on her sanitised play mat, I sighed a breath of frustration which turned into a breath of relief as I said to myself, "I'll miss this craziness one day."

I'll miss them needing me.
I'll miss Cyril's eyes pooling with tears when I stepped outside yesterday and held the door shut so I could hear the health visitor on the other line.
I'll miss Cyril repeating, "Want big cuddles Mama" with arms outstretched and when I tell him I can't right now because I'm feeding baby I'll miss the next line, "Mama give Sage to Gaga, Mama put Sage down, want big cuddles Mama NOW!"
I'll miss his little hand reaching up towards mine so he doesn't fall on the way down to the river or get stung by any lingering nettles
and when he decides he's big enough to walk down to the river but falls on the way down I'll miss him running into my arms until Mama's voice soothes his hurt ego and knees.
I'll miss my nighttime feedings, that seem to last forever, but when she looks up at me and smiles from ear to ear I think, before you know it she'll be sleeping through the night and I'll wonder where the time has gone.
I'll miss our daily walks when the weather turns cold and the leaves start to change.
I'll miss Hobson chasing rabbits and pheasants while Cyril shouts "Hobo, leab it" and Sage looks up at the world with wide eyes in amazement when she's supposed to be napping.

The days when I wish things were different and start questioning where I went wrong are also the same days I look at my two gorgeous and perfect children and handsome husband and think, how did I get so lucky?

I'm lucky in love and lucky in life. Josh and I are the perfect match, rarely getting in disagreements, working as a team day in and day out to raise our two little miracles and furry child. I'm so unbelievably fortunate to stay at home with my children while he works tirelessly at work to pay for Cyril's Cheerios, Sage's milk and my organic food deliveries.

So the next time I think, why didn't I do this instead or I wish I had more time to organise this house I'll try to remind myself that this crazy and wonderful experience of raising children is short lived. Before I know it they'll be embarrassed by mama cuddles, and sandwiches cut into animal shapes, rather then blow me a kiss at school, as Cyril does when I drop him at nursery, they'll be requesting that I drop them at the end of the road so their friends don't see their embarrassing mother.

The next time I wish their life away by saying, I wish he was potty trained, I wish she was sleeping through the night, I'll remember that time goes by too quickly and that these less than desirable parenting tasks are moments to be fully present because before I know it these moments will vanish and I'll be left wondering where the time has gone. Hopefully when this happens I'll be rejoicing over living in the moment during those tasks rather then regretting rushing through them.