Ten reasons I love my husband more than my children:

1. If I told him I would rather he suck on my nipple then suck on a silicone teat there would be no arguement, he would 100% prefer the real teat to the fake one and if my breasts needed a rest from aggressive eating he'd happily come back when I'd recovered.

2. If I handed him a blue cup rather than an orange one he would not scream at the top of his lungs at me and fall to the ground sobbing because I hadn't realised his colour preference. As long as the cup had beer I'd be worshipped.

3. If he woke up at night hungry and I said, not tonight honey I need my sleep he'd be totally fine with that.

4. He never fights naps, naps are awesome and he does a happy dance whenever it's nap time. He's never once turned down a nap or kicked me in the breasts because I told him it was nap time.

5. I chose my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love my children, and although we chose to have children we didn't hand pick them. They arrived with their own unique personalities that we have to live with for the next 18 years or so.

6. He'd rather use the toilet then poo his pants.

7. He gets the concept of personal space and alone time, if I'm crying I get a hug not a weird look and a demand for more food.

8. I don't need to remind him that poking the baby in the eye, shoving a stick up the dogs nose and biting my shoulder are all painful experiences.

9. He puts me first, my children put me last. Mama doesn't need to eat, drink, sit down for 5 minutes to drink her coffee or go to the bathroom. She needs to get me the blueberry yogurt, no the strawberry one, actually I'd prefer raspberry wait I don't want yogurt at all I want toast with butter and jam. Oh there isn't any jam you say? Well you better go to the shop to buy some or get the pan heated up to make your own otherwise you'll have to listen to me cry as though the world is ending.

10. Last bit not least, on the RARE and I mean RARE occasions that it's just the two of us, we can get out of the house in under 5 minutes. With children it's like packing for the airport every time you leave and for whatever reason as soon as you finally have the screaming baby strapped in the car seat and your toddlers shoes on he has to proudly announce, "Had a poop." No!!!! You did not have a poop. Then by the time you've changed his nappy, the baby wants to nurse again and you can repeat the whole process until you just say, "Fuck it, everyone back in their PJ's, we ain't doing shit today."